What's with this product marketing?

I'm perusing the vinyl flooring options available on today's market. Get a load of some of these names:

• Saguaro Bermuda Sand
• Venice Warm Dawn
• Sedona Canyon Earth
• Chadds Ford Arabesque Beige
• Fiorelli Road Cashew

I'm not looking for something with the "impression" of slate, or wood, or tumbled rock. I don't think my friends would be fooled. Especially if they walked in the house and found me still in my pajamas at 3 p.m.

If I wanted my house to look like a Mediterranean getaway, wouldn't I be using tile, or at least Pergo? If I wanted my house to reflect the message, "I am stylish, modern and oh-so beautiful," I wouldn't be looking at vinyl.

I'm looking for a floor that says, "Look at me. I'm doing laundry. ... Hey, who left the caps off the markers!?! Oh look, Dori spilled grape juice. Again. And Addy, what's that smell?"